You Don’t Have to be a Freak Anymore, Sell-Out!

  Hipsters are not always inspired, but they sure inspire a lot of insight into the mindset and culture of our youth. Hipster, punk, hippie, vegan, gender-fluid, whatever —...


Hipsters are not always inspired, but they sure inspire a lot of insight into the mindset and culture of our youth.

Hipster, punk, hippie, vegan, gender-fluid, whatever — the point of these subcultures is to go against the grain and subvert the establishment and traditional values.

Then there’s the alt-Right. The alt-Right is the counterculture to the counterculture. But listen, I’m not here to preach to the choir. I’m here to give a short battle cry.

I’m also not going to bore you with the details of the plot to the film SLC Punk!. Maybe you saw it, maybe you didn’t. Here’s the point: the punk sells out. He trades in his blue mohawk for a crew cut and his punk jacket for a suit.

Boys, it’s time to sell out.

The commie narrative that traditional American society is to be shirked via fucking off is dead. Let’s all saddle up, get jobs, find a woman, knock her up a couple dozen times, and contribute to society and our enclave within it.

Not all Proud Boys identify as alt-Right, but I think we all love it for its function: traditional values fueled by irreverence. Sure, maybe we’re sellouts from world peace, Kumbaya, and tattooed hand in tattooed hand, but that doesn’t mean we’re squares.

We’re just not freaks.

Progressives, we don’t think you’re a bunch of squares either. We never thought you were. You’ve spent so much time making yourselves “unique” and insisting to our faces that you aren’t squares that you’ve stereotyped yourselves as non-squares long ago. We know you’re not squares, you’re something very worse indeed. You are just freaks, and there are so many of you now that you don’t even stand out.

You’re normal now.

You all seem to think you’re artists. Why? Your body is a work of art, or your life is your art, or your music, or your blog. Anyone with enough practice can be a musician, painter, or writer. The artist part is an ethereal element that people don’t even really comprehend consciously. We might call it god, but you aren’t gods, and you aren’t special. You’re a freak.

I don’t hate you, but we’re at war. For now.


Obligatory Pepe


Your tired, lazy thinking is dying, freaks. The sellouts have spoken.

We decided we don’t need so many of you. We need a few, the truly talented, those driven mad by insight. “Artist” isn’t a career path, it’s a mindset. It’s that magical thing without logic. And if you’ve chosen “artist” as a career path, you’re fucked. Few truly have it. The rest of us will be voting for Trump.

So lay down your flabby arms, feminists. Take the target off our cops’ backs, Black Lives Matter. Return to your bobo brownstones, journalists, Hillary fans, and SJW instigators, and join us.

Sell out, hipsters. Sell out, feminists, and come hang out. We’re fun, we promise. We care about you, you’re Americans — our countrymen. Our side stands for your happiness and well-being alongside our own. If Hillary is right about one thing, it’s that we are stronger together.

Sell out and let’s Make America Great Again.

The forgotten thing about tradition is that it works. That’s why it’s tradition. Strength, honor, gender roles, beauty, progress, and glory are the values that made us great to begin with. We may look square and bigoted from the outside because we have standards. We have expectations to meet and we strive to meet them. We sacrifice our old selves everyday to make better men and women. We believe the world needs disciplined individuals with willpower, self-control, and vision.  



John Heath doesn’t believe in bios. He’s not the godfather or the prince of anything. He is descended from kings, Vikings, warriors, farmers, and a guy who was on the Mayflower. His ancestors fought in the Hundred Years War, the American Revolution, the Civil War, and World War II. He’s ashamed he didn’t join the Marines when he was 18 and he power-lifts about it three times a week. He’s also an entrepreneur, videographer, small-time television producer, and he’s growing his beard out again. See his work at


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