Gawker Goes Full Poe’s Law – Launches ‘The Cuck’

I’ve just spent the last five minutes in literal fits of laughter. I’m sitting alone in my office and howling at this, frankly, astounding news. Gawker is trying to ‘reclaim’...
THE CUCK

I’ve just spent the last five minutes in literal fits of laughter. I’m sitting alone in my office and howling at this, frankly, astounding news.

Gawker is trying to ‘reclaim’ the term ‘cuck’.

The failing media company, which is said to be in settlement talks with Hulk Hogan, has gone full Poe’s Law and is literally launching a new men’s magazine entitled…The Cuck. This whole thing looks like something dreamed up by Anthony Cumia and Gavin McInnes. Are we being trolled? God I love 2016.

fiq7h4bknhg0kdmqvedwIn an announcement released today at 4:20pm (blaze it), Alex Pareene announced that Gawker is reaching out to a new male audience. The release explained:

“What differentiates The Cuck from all those other men’s interest sites out there? We like to think it’s our emphasis on not being Bad. Unlike other men’s interest sites.”

Also we like to jack it in the corner while a bull plunges his superior cock into our beloved ones. You know, man stuff. The only funny thing about the project is how unfunny it is. Pareene took to Twitter to, sarcastically, ask for pitches.

 

The Cuck also appears to be interested in men’s thoughts on ‘sex, dating, clothes, relationships, politics, sex and women. One could only assume that this is some kind of dig about men’s opinions on these issues being too commonplace already. Who knows. Maybe they’re being serious – maybe we’re going to be reading about how holding your girlfriends purse is good for the triceps.

The people over at Gawker are desperate to be loved, to be relevant and to be funny. They are none of those things, and they certainly don’t understand satire or ridicule. The Cuck is the equivalent of a bullied child at school, every day being called a ginger-headed faggot, proudly exclaiming in the middle of a packed dinner hall “YES, I AM A GINGER-HEADED FAGGOT!”

Gawker, thank you for making us laugh at you, not with you. I will not be reading this new site, nor will my wife or her son. That’s where I draw the line!

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Jack Buckby is a former student of politics, a writer and the Press Officer for British conservative political party Liberty GB. He stood for election with Paul Weston in the European Elections in 2014, and regularly cooperates with American media to warn against the adopting of failed European social and economic policies. Jack was removed from university for refusing to abide by politically correct school rules, and for calling out lecturer Dr Leon Moosavi for attempting to justify the murder of soldier Lee Rigby. In an article on the University of Liverpool website, Dr Moosavi claimed that the attack was legitimate ‘dissent’ against UK foreign policy. As a paleoconservative and a culturist, Jack promotes individual liberty and national autonomy, and believes that the United States is in a position to use its size and power to begin the restoration of Western civilisation.
  • Reality

    Pretty sure it’s a joke dude.

    • Jack Buckby

      Hence our reference to Poe’s Law and…well, everything else we said in the article.

      Read it!

  • ichthyic

    aaannnddd… Jack Buckby, conservative regressive… successfully trolled by Gawker.

    people are laughing at YOU, Jack!

    • ProudBoy Magazine

      We’re aware that it’s an attempt at satire, as we state in the article. The problem is they still enjoy watching their girlfriends getting fucked by other men after all is said and done.

      Also please elaborate one what you think a “conservative regressive” is.

  • djp

    What an idiot!

    You’re clearly too racist to understand irony and satire.

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