Girls, Embrace #NoHeadaches and Please Your Man

    #NoWanks is sweeping the nation! It’s changing lives and saving souls! But there is a dark and stormy cloud that follows it for the married man. Yes,...
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#NoWanks is sweeping the nation! It’s changing lives and saving souls! But there is a dark and stormy cloud that follows it for the married man. Yes, you all have heard it – other Proud Boys complaining that at least married men have a nice warm pussy waiting for them every night.

 

Well, young morons, that isn’t always the case – but right now I’m not talking to you horny mother fuckers that are trying desperately to change the rules so you can jack it twice a month. I’m talking to the married man and, even more importantly, the Proud Boys’ wife. You are KEY to a Proud Boys’ success; you are now worth more than anything to your Proud Boy (sexually at least).

 

Let me tell you a dirty little story. A story of an exhausted mom, a story of a young woman who’s had a hard day at work (4 days in a row), and the lazy piss poor excuse all of us ladies clutch onto.

 

“Sorry, I have a headache… is that okay?”

 

I know it happens, I’m also a Proud Boys’ Girl.

 

Once upon a night, you’re watching political crap with your man. You’re laughing at the ridiculous Japanese anti-Trump commercial, and maybe, since your Proud Boy knows how much you “like” Asian Gavin, he creates a compilation video just for you.

 

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Cutie.

 

You are already aware about the fraternity Proud Boys and consider yourself a woman who can support this “cult thing” even if it is ridiculously spawned from some gay song that never made it on Aladdin. It’s late, the wine was heavy, your day was too fucking long and you kiss your Proud Boy goodnight.
Then it happens, like a lion stalking his pray he sneaks up behind you in your long t-shirt and those girlie “boxer-shorts” that you still wear underwear underneath. You can feel him about to pounce! But, there’s no fucking way you’re going to spend 20 minutes exhausting yourself and you say…

 

“Oh! {insert giggle}, not tonight darlin’, I have had this headache all day.”

 

And you don’t look back, hell no you don’t turn around. No one would want to see the defeat on a lion that’s just been castrated.

 

You bitch! We all know it’s a lie, you don’t want to fuck right now because you’re lazy. I’ve been that lazy bitch before so I know what the hell I’m talking about!

 

What you need to realize is that you, your body, those hips, your lady lumps, and that nasty mole you are always trying to hide is now the hottest thing he can see (at least fully naked for a reasonable period of time). Can’t you remember a time when you craved that kind of attention? Can’t you remember a time where you wanted to jump bones but he said..

 

“Get a grip we’re about to go to my Grandmas!”

 

Where did that woman go?

 

American housewife in the 1950s

Pinch our bottoms and chase us up the stairs, boys.

 

Those married Proud Boys’ have more on their plate, they’ve got to feed their woman and the tiny hellions that she gives birth to. He has to be physically and mentally strong all the time, always looking for ways to give to his family. That is why, in respects to #NoWanks, I’ve started my own #NoHeadaches.

 

That’s right. No excuses, no lies, no running from the ravenous horny cis-male. Toss him a bone! SCREW THAT! Toss him a steak! It definitely reaps its own rewards.

 

I don’t need to google some fucking study that says couples that fuck regularly last – it just seems common sense. One, you ladies are getting the attention you wanted when you got married, he cares about your “dreams” and how you rock at being a mom. And if he’s fucking you all the time, you and he can probably safely assume there isn’t a third party unless you are fucking the hulk at 40 years old; being married I’m pretty sure guys can last a couple days at time.

 

But back to the Proud Boys.

 

Seriously, I know you’re excited and thinking…

 

“Haha! She owes me, and I can stick it whenever I want!”

 

NO that doesn’t mean you get a free pass to wake us up and say “Let’s do it!” all the time. Let a lady know you want her you fucking horn dog! Rev her engine, make it something she wants to do, don’t make it a chore because that’s what she’s doing all fucking day anyways.

 

For the younger generation: keep laying those bricks, and when you get married, keep it up for her. It will make her not jealous crazy, a nicer mom, and very confident (which means you hear less complaining). I’m proud of my boy. And I’m proud of you 😉

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Opinion

I live in Minneapolis as Proud Boys' Girl and stay-at-home mom to two young girls. I have blogged on a small scale but my focus is on being the best Mom I can be. As the youngest to 10 kids I'm the black sheep conservative, and unlike Margret Sanger who was also the youngest of a large family I actually find value in family life and see importance of its impact on the community and country. I believe the west is the best and that by supporting Proud Boys I am also liberating women who feel pressure by the backwards norms of feminism. "Embracing femininity is embracing a man being a man."
  • AnaMorales

    You could at least spell Margaret Sanger’s name right, dear. It’s clear you know nothing about her or what she did.

    How come you only have two kids? Are you using birth control? And who watches your kids while you’re writing, blogging, etc.?

    You’re a gigantic hypocrite. West is best because women fought to make it that way, which you’ve taken advantage of because otherwise you’d be in Afghanistan.

    I love all of these proud stay-at-home moms who have to go public to insist on how happy they are. These women’s divorces end up being the best ones. Good luck in life, dear. Maybe you’ll get the boys to like you someday.

    Hopefully your daughters realize that their mom is a confused lady and take advantage of all the benefits feminism made available to them, like education, property ownership, leaving abusive relationships, employment, legal representation, etc.

    • Amy LaGro

      Let’s start with the Margaret Sanger part. She said she sees value in a large family. You claim that she doesn’t know what she’s even talking about. So here’s a quote and a link to Margaret Sanger’s actually book. ” The most merciful thing that the large family does to one of its infant members is to kill it” http://www.bartleby.com/1013/5.html
      How is she wrong about Margaret Sanger not seeing value in large families? The chapter is called The Wickedness of Creating Large Families. Are you sure you’re familiar with Sanger?

      • AnaMorales

        Sigh. There’s nothing worse than unintelligent people with confidence, Amy. Here’s the paragraph in its entirety:

        “Many, perhaps, will think it idle to go farther in demonstrating the immorality of large families, but since there is still an abundance of proof at hand, it may be offered for the sake of those who find difficulty in adjusting old-fashioned ideas to the facts. The most merciful thing that the large family does to one of its infant members is to kill it. The same factors which create the terrible infant mortality rate, and which swell the death rate of children between the ages of one and five, operate even more extensively to lower the health rate of the surviving members. Moreover, the overcrowded homes of large families reared in poverty further contribute to this condition. Lack of medical attention is still another factor, so that the child who must struggle for health in competition with other members of a closely packed family has still great difficulties to meet after its poor constitution and malnutrition have been accounted for.”
        She’s saying large families invariably result in high infant mortality rates because of the strain so many children put on the mother, for food, for survival–which is true. She’s saying the inevitable deaths may be merciful because it saves that child from a life of crushing poverty and forced prostitution, which she describes in the rest of the passage.
        All of this is true. You have no clue how bad it was when women had no control, when children died all the time from the strain (she’s saying that might be better than living a life of misery) and went to prostitution (paid for by very chivalrous, protective males) and sometimes starved to death. She didn’t say children should be physically murdered. She said the high infant mortality that is the natural result of unchecked breeding could be considered a mercy because of the inevitable misery.
        You quite clearly didn’t understand what the passage was about. You don’t know anything about Margaret Sanger, so be quiet. She is the reason women don’t die in childbirth on their 11th child or thousands of children and women don’t turn to prostitution in order to get money for food anymore. Stop making a fool out of yourself.

        • Jeanne DeSilver

          My goodness, you have written so much in reply to Amy LaGro it seems as if ProudBoy has provided a platform for you!

          • AnaMorales

            Most of it is an excerpt from the link that she posted to something Margaret Sanger wrote, which she did not understood and misquoted. I included it in order to teach her something, which she needed.

      • AnaMorales

        And btw, she only has two kids. How the hell is that a large family? Is she not having sex with her husband, or is she using birth control? She should have a kid per year, like women did in the good ol’ days of chivalry. Where is large family that she loves so much? Unchecked breeding and treating women like birthing cows leads to violence and poverty. That’s why countries like Yemen and Afghanistan are such disgusting messes.

        • Amy LaGro

          Let’s narrow down what I will reply to in this comment to your notion of ‘unchecked breeding’. Aside from the crude and ill-informed comparison of the mystery of creation of human souls to breeding sows, there is a clarification to be made about the notion of birth control. The genius of woman is revealed in their fertility. I would like to extend to you the mutual goal of having happy, loving, and contented women in our lives and in our societies. I want this, and I presume to think that you want this too. I cannot achieve it by being something that I am not. I am not the sex impervious to pregnancy. I am the sex of pregnancy and birth. If you have heard of and believe in the notion of the eternal soul, then I also have this to say. I don’t think of my body as some sort of biological add-on. I believe my body makes visible the invisible mystery of my soul. My body is made to recieve love, anatomically, and spiritually. I can’t choke one of those off and be happy.

          If the spiritual notion of the soul has no compulsion for you then I would like to make this rebuttal. I often hear the phrase, “it’s just having sex without wanting the kid” and therefore what is wrong with artificial birth control?” I would say that the same line of reasoning makes bulimia nervosa perfectly normal. It’s just wanting to eat without the nutrition.

          Beware what your sensibilities are telling you to justify. Otherwise Jonathon Swift’s Modest Proposal will start to sound reasonable.

          A Modest Proposal

          For Preventing the Children of Poor People
          in Ireland, from Being a Burden on Their Parents
          or Country, and for Making Them
          Beneficial to the Publick

          https://andromeda.rutgers.edu/~jlynch/Texts/modest.html

          • AnaMorales

            Heaven forbid a woman actually just has sex for fun or out of choice! I mean, I bet you’re twisting yourself in knots over it! Because your attitude clearly works in the Catholic Church, which is run by very sexually healthy men. Get over yourself, dear. Women will make their own decisions, much like this “writer” who only has two kids. Women aren’t birthing cows.
            Wake up. It’s 2016 and you’re a relic from a backwards time. Move to Yemen and see how you like it.

          • Amy LaGro

            I believe it was your position that ‘uncontrolled breeding’ is some sort of epidemic. Not mine.
            If you are concerned that my position makes for a limited life, I would like to give some details. One of my choices was to further my education. One of my choices was to live outside of America, including a year in Transylvania and a year in Israel. I also decided to learn the languages of each of these places and currently speak five languages to different degrees.

            This is because I value and am valued in the West. I am allowed to pursue any vein of knowledge I chose. And at this point, I know that none of these recreational pursuits and will fulfil me like being a wife and a mother.

  • Wilmur Hamilton

    Forwarded to wife

    • Emily Becker

      HAHA hope it goes well!

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