Who Killed Bambi? I Killed Bambi

Have you ever been embarrassed of your own optimism? That’s what happened today because I had more faith if people common sense. First, I killed a deer with my...
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Have you ever been embarrassed of your own optimism? That’s what happened today because I had more faith if people common sense.

First, I killed a deer with my car.

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I’m fine and the car is totally fine, the deer on the other hand had its neck twisted like a Sham Wow. Not my fault, it came out of nowhere. I was on my way to do a post production job and it happened about 20 feet away from my destination. I told my friends what happened seconds earlier, my adrenaline was still pretty high from not just hitting a deer, by coming away completely unscathed.

We went outside to get a look at the animal and take a closer look at my Jeep and that’s when the weirdness happened.

We surrounded the dead animal, talking about what happened, and remarking on how it was dragged several feet when some folks on the 2nd floor porch of a nearby condo began to chime in.

“Asshole!”

I thought, “Accurate, but how would they know”.

“It’s not funny! Don’t you dare laugh at that poor animal!”

“Hmmm.” I thought cunningly. “Can a dead animal feel humiliation?”

We were laughing nervously at the wrecked condition of the animal and I took a picture, but I wasn’t exactly doing a road kill ventriloquist act, and part of me was thinking there was a chance the thing would spring back to life.

Okay, so what? I shouted some smart ass comment and went back to talking with my friends telling them I couldn’t believe the car was fine.

“I hope your car is fucked up!”

“Damn it! Not you again, you busy-body”.

I started laughing and was told a second time it wasn’t funny. I informed them with the grace of the Jersey mooks who raised me “Don’t tell me what funny is! I’ll tell you what’s funny!” and left it at that.

I uploaded the picture I took to Facebook and went about the project and then the craziness went to high gear.

The majority of people following me on Facebook seem to be reasonable people. They asked me things like “Are you hurt?” and “How’s your car?” Reasonable. But this picture brought the weird Hills Have Eyes Facebook followers out.

Some people I knew, some I didn’t. I was immediately informed once again I was in fact “An Asshole”.

I’m at peace with this.

I was also told by people that they wished I died instead of the deer. At this point you might be wondering “Is he going to politicize this?” Yes, he is.

Here are the facts:

-I had no intention of hurting an animal today or any other day

-There is an overpopulation of deer in New Jersey

-People hit animals, especially deer, all the time

-I like animals very much

-I happen to belong to the human race

-Myself and the Jeep are fine and renewing our vows in a commitment ceremony

-The deer, in a radical act of independence, threw itself in front of my car without my prior knowledge

-I find it amusing I’m totally fine

I’m not positive what this young doe was trying to achieve but she came out on the losing end and if asked for council by the forest kingdom I would have certainly recommended against darting out in front of a Jeep Wrangler.

Yet somehow, multiple people in person and online, saw me as a Bambi-murdering social piranha.

Is it because I hit a deer?

So is everyone who ever got blindsided by a deer a heartless monster or just me? Am I the first to do this? Does every piece of road kill deserve a candle lit vigil?
Is it because I posted a picture of a deer? Well, I did the same about 7 years ago when I hit a deer, it died, had witnesses at the scene and THAT ONE destroyed my car. No one wanted me tried for war crimes then.

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What had changed is the new Social Justice Warrior mindset.

Today, we don’t ask for facts when something we don’t like happens. We don’t put ourselves in the other person’s shoes. We’re out for blood.

Any tragic police shooting comes to mind.

The fact that we didn’t create a bathroom for every made up nuanced gender inclination people just decided was a problem yesterday comes to mind. The fact that some people are poor while other are rich also definitely comes to mind as something that just “is” but makes certain people feel the need to scream into their pillow.

There are animal rights people too, but even they must know that deer get hit crossing the road every day. This is a deeper attitude than that, I realized today it’s an underlying “Anti-Human” attitude.

I was told I deserved to die over a dead animal I didn’t purposely kill.

I wonder if the people who would agree with that shed a tear over the dead cops in Dallas, or New York, or Baton Rouge. I wonder if all the black people killing each other in Chicago keeps them up at night. I wonder if they even know about Mexican gangs setting black people homes on fire in Compton. I wonder how much outrage they expressed about the Muslim rapists assaulting women in Sweden, Germany, the UK or the middle East for that matter.

But a small deer gets a chorus of “Amazing Grace” on the bag pipes.

My last piece of evidence of this anti-humanism are the people who would tell me “They built the road in the deer’s backyard” so it’s the fault of “man”. In this vision of Earth they have where we took the land from the animals, is there room for people?

Do the smartest, most resourceful, self aware species that figured out cars in the first place get to have a “backyard” on this planet in the vision? We are better than all the animals. It’s true. Animals kill constantly. They smell. They’re stupid. Why don’t chickens have their own version of the band Queen? Why don’t turtles have a NASA? Why don’t birds come up with cell phones? There are no Dolphin cities, there is no rabbit Rick Moranis. What was the zebras answer to polio?

If someone is so self loathing they don’t see the value in being a human, they don’t deserve to be one.

In closing, buy an American car.

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PawL Bazile was born in Jersey City, New Jersey in 1984. He grew up in a middle-class suburban Italian American family and studied Theater Arts, Literature, and Filmmaking in New York City. He self educates in Science and History regularly. He made his 1st short film when he was 14 and received an honorable mention from Kean University. Since then he has written, produced and directed dozens of short films and completed an award winning feature length documentary LIVING THE AMERICAN NIGHTMARE (2011) with punk rock and metal legends including members of the Misfits, Bill Ward of Black Sabbath and Peter Steele of Type O Negative. Currently he is making the motorcycle documentary SAVAGE which will discuss the life of his murdered uncle. Pawl Bazile has performed comedy, poetry, and spoken word. He has also acted in films and appeared in plays off Broadway. PawL regularly contributes to SugarBuzz Magazine and is a regular contributor for Proud Boys Magazine. Pawl Bazile currently runs a media company called New Measure Productions and lives in a dangerous neighborhood.
  • whotothewhat

    I see so many dead deer along roads and highways in my neck of the woods I hardly notice anymore, unless I have my windows down and catch an whiff.

  • Havin Nunavit

    Really though, you didn’t kill the stupid deer. You could say that the car did and just as rightfully so, it was complicit in it’s own demise. Deer do crazy shit. I see them nearly every day doing positively insane stuff.

  • James Cicalese

    Dude, go drive down the Parkway south of exit 80 at night during August. The number of deer manning each side of the road can be staggering. They are all over the place!

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