What Does Patriotism Mean to You?

When I was nine, my mom got kicked by a horse right between her tits and died. This was the Fourth of July, 1996. The horse was named Spirit....


When I was nine, my mom got kicked by a horse right between her tits and died.

This was the Fourth of July, 1996. The horse was named Spirit.  It was definitely the Fourth of July because I remember my mother weeping over my father, who had been off to war. And saddened by his phone call, she’d tried to tie a yellow ribbon to Spirit’s tail to honor his service just before being hoofed in her sternum. I didn’t know it then, but this unfortunate blow to the tits would mark only my third worst Independence Day before reaching adulthood.

Unbeknownst to my Scottish mother, my Jew father had jumped ship years before and was living with some Thai woman named Jai in a Bangkok slum by the time of her accident. Although he kept in contact via phone, I was left in the hills of Appalachia to fend for myself under the supervision of my slowly decaying grandparents.

Like many young Americans, I spent the next 10 years loathing authority, cops, and yellow ribbons.

I hated horses, I hated Jesus, and I hated America. I listened to punk music and pissed on cars with the “support our troops” bumper stickers before finally, on the Fourth of July 2007, as a result of dropping out of school and a marijuana-related arrest, I graduated the U.S. Army infantry school.

Mixed feelings boiled underneath a uniform I’d grown to despise, but I did my job, and in four years found myself in front of an audience of 80 wide-eyed young men sucking up my regurgitated “how to fuck up brown people” wisdom. The U.S. Army infantry is a white boys’ club. For whatever reason, only one in thirty infantrymen were black. Supply clerks and cooks were often black, but the front lines (infantry, tankers, cavalry) were disproportionately white compared to other jobs. It would not be uncommon to hear things like,  “look what those black bitches in the chow line gave me…fucking moon crickets.” Or often, an officer:  “why can’t they do anything in time…because all the supply sergeants are lazy fucking niggers, they don’t care.” And so on. Slurs like kinky top, jigaboo, jungle bunny, and so on, weren’t said out of hate, but the front line was predominantly white.

So I spent my days teaching rooms of children how to properly fire missiles into desert Muslims.

For years I’d go to work and return home to a small shack, drink my body weight in whiskey, listen to The Dead Kennedys or Wu-Tang Clan, and get a few hours’ sleep before another 18-hour day. Throughout it all, I was torn down the middle. Was I patriotic? I didn’t really know, but I did my job, shut the fuck up, and drank like a fish.

Eventually, that uniform I’d once loathed became my identity, with the NOFX tattoos underneath totally forgotten. The men I’d ridiculed as tools in my youth became my brothers, and upon leaving, I’ve found no bond so close.

“I just really hate diversity”

I’ll say when a friend or hot girl asks me why I won’t join her in some liberal  discussion or protest. And they’ll laugh, thinking I’m joking. To which I respond by leaving the room (or if she’s particularly hot, changing the subject to art, a TV show, or baked goods), but I truly do loathe diversity. Mental diversity. When I look at the faces of the Democratic party and diversity, I am reminded of my old Korean tattoo artist telling me, “life has a lot more soul when you are in uniform.” And I never knew what the fuck he meant, until now.

If Democrats win and the majority of the United States begins to look “autumnal” (for a lack of a better word), and these immigrants don’t adopt Western ideology at a similar rate compared to inner-city Black Lives Matter members, then diversity will have killed us. Right? Sound racist? You know what else?

Germany and Russia. Racist as fuck.

Don’t say, “but they’re not racist, Angela Merkel is extremely liberal with immigration policies!” I’m half a kike. Germany is still racist as fuck. And that’s fine. My point is, what would stop these “rapey” pale countries from curb-stomping, Jew-showering, or Ukraine-rolling our asses without unity? Maybe you should vigilantly accost those who threaten the unity within our own borders. Here’s a photo of the individuals protecting you from these threats while raping shitty countries for oil or whatever. Who cares, right?


(Infantry Platoon in Fort Benning Georgia)

Diversity is shit and no one is going to fight for it.

That’s not how fighting genes work. That’s not how countries work. Look at Rome. Diversity destroys without uniform ideals, and diversity is exactly how Western civilization on this continent will be destroyed.

…and there are ways to squash racism within this experiment we call ‘merica. It would take time and science and shit that smarter people than me work on. If you told me when I was 21 I’d be writing for a conservative magazine someday, I’d have called you a ridiculous retard. But I don’t feel the alternative is going to work. It might be the last and greatest betrayal of the last and greatest of human experiments.


Joseph Plasan lives in Pittsburgh Pennsylvania. He is an army veteran, and his dick is 1 centimeter longer than his IQ score. He also belongs to Mensa.
  • Havin Nunavit

    Great piece. I look forward to more.

  • chewtoy2016

    Great piece. Liberty is hard to capture and even harder to keep before it’s gone.



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